United States in therapy skit, 20 years later on the 250th birthday

Twenty years ago, I wrote and performed this short play for my graduate program community at the California Institute of Integral Studies. Immersed in postcolonial cultural anthropology studies and regular devastation of the foreign and domestic policies of the Bush administration, this piece emerged upon hearing a beloved professor say one day, "Every nation-state founded on democratic values of inclusivity and personal liberty has violated those very principles in the most severe way in its founding." A switch flipped on. What a pathological structure.

What would therapy look like for a nation-state, treated as an individual entity? What would happen if the U.S. were on the couch? I wandered around the Mission neighborhood for hours percolating with these questions, came home, and a theater script poured forth in one big swoosh. Along with a character of the United States, which I played in drag, as a belligerently entitled frat boy hazing the world, with a nervous disorder cracking under the weight of history, narcissistic and abusive, repressed and insecure underneath his violent posturing. Tragedy disguised as comedy. It was enthusiastically received by the audience. (Unfortunately there is no video). For me, it was a way to process my chronic heartache as a citizen of empire, and my longing for this country to reckon with its root conditions.

Here is the original script. Eerily prophetic. This character emerged during the imperial cowboy "War on Terror" era. It was certainly inspired by George W. Bush but was deeper than him. This session portrays the U.S. as an individual whose supremacist aggression masks deep shame and inadequacy.

It goes without saying, I could not have imagined where we are today, UFC on the White House lawn, a cognitively failing and flailing leader, the equivalent of two Watergates a week, hypermasculine unaccountable broligarch culture to the utmost farcical and hideous extreme, incompetent fascism, authoritarian delusion and destruction. The national symptoms portrayed in this 2006 skit could not be more severe. While we are long accustomed to the insanity of the U.S. regularly broadcast on the global stage, we are at a jaw dropping juncture. In our current era that is beyond parody, the hyperbolic nature of the character created 20 years ago actually feels mild.

Some lines, such as the reference to "privatized subjectivity", are nerdy inside jokes for the graduate program.

I offer this performance as we approach the patriotic mobilizations and disruptions for this big birthday. May it offer some unsettling time travel, inspiration for therapeutic interventions, and memory of future healing.

Therapist: So why don’t we start with you telling me a little about yourself?

US: (pacing, hypermasculine, wearing a map of the US, a crucifix necklace, and a Homeland Security baseball cap) OK first off – I DON’T NEED HELP – you got that? Help is for Third World sissies – I am one hell of a rugged, pioneering individual. 13 stripes, 50 stars – I EXPAND, you know what I’m saying? You give me any frontier, any virgin territory – I’ll conquer it, I’ll settle it, I’ll develop it! (giving boxing punches in the air) Wild West…Mars…hell, I’ll set up military bases and resorts on galaxies they haven’t even named yet, because my motto is: taking care of business – the immortal words of the King (hand on heart) Elvis Jesus Presley Christ – Amen! (little air guitar move) Well, that’s me in a nutshell, but uh, I’ve been having some…issues…lately.

Therapist: Please have a seat. (gestures to the couch)

US: Thanks. (sits) Well I’m, some would say, economically depressed, and uh, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit this to a chick (gives her elevator eyes), but I’ve been experiencing repeated bouts of preemptive ejaculation, and, (chokes up with emotion) I’m losing all my friends. I try to give them gifts, development aid packages, cut them sweet deals, but everyone’s leaving me right and left, and I don’t know what to do. (regains composure, steels up, gets defensive) So that’s why I’m here.

Therapist: Alright, well it looks like we have our work cut out for us. Now in psychotherapy, we look for the roots of our problems to help get in touch with them and begin a healing process. Most of our issues can be traced back to dynamics in our families of origin, so we’ll begin with looking all the way back to our earliest memories, and see what arises.

US: Sounds like crazy Jewish science to me, but hey, I’m tolerant, I’m game.

Therapist: Let’s begin with you lying back on the couch and closing your eyes, which can facilitate memory recall.

US: (looks back at the couch, smiles) Well, I’m not usually the one laying on my back, but alright. (lays back with hands behind head, arrogant expression)

Therapist: Alright, now as we know, every nation-state founded on democratic values of inclusivity and personal liberty has violated those very principles in the most severe way in its founding. All nation-states committed genocide when they were born. So think back to the earliest times, and see what you can remember about committing genocide.

US: (sits up) Whoa! Getting a little heavy there, doc! (trying to make a joke) no no, don’t sugar coat it, give it to me straight! (rolls eyes) Look seriously, I don’t even know what genocide means – I mean, the Indians taught me how to plant corn, and in return I gave them horses – it was a beautiful, bountiful exchange, one which I never fail to celebrate on the 4th Thursday of every November – maybe you’ve heard of Thanksgiving? The turkey’s killer!

Therapist: (writing notes) OK…well I see in my file on you, that you are the richest nation in the world, (US smiles and nods “don’t have to tell me twice!”) and that wealth was built on slavery. Can you tell me about how it felt to enslave populations for personal gain?

US: Wait wait wait – if that happened, IF that even HAPPENED, that’s ancient history! And besides, I’m down with rap music, hell, I AM the original gangster! Lord knows I’ve got the bling bling to show for it! (chuckles, and makes fake gun shooting gestures at the therapist)

Therapist: Look, I understand that you would not want to acknowledge these emotionally difficult memories. But by looking at how we grew up, we can work to liberate ourselves in the present from buried trauma stored in our unconscious. I’m not blaming you for your actions committed when you were a child, it’s perfectly understandable – you were persecuted, and in turn you persecuted others, you didn’t know better, anyone in your position would do it. Now if you just look within, and confess to being an oppressor, you will begin to feel better.

US: Hey look babe, I’d be first in line to confess, except that I have no idea what you’re talking about. I bring democracy to other nation-states – that’s what I do. And if they’re too barbarian ass-backwards to understand that, that’s their problem. And maybe what you don’t understand is that in my deepest essence, my intention is freedom and democracy. I have only ever intended to spread the light of democracy and I say the sooner everyone starts looking and behaving like me, you know, the better.

Therapist: OK (trying to hide frustration) let’s try to access the subrational. Now I am going to show you some images, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind, alright? (holds up a piece of paper) Now I see a slave ship – what do you see?

US: Aunt Jemima – can’t have pancakes without syrup!

Therapist: (holds up another sheet) I see a Japanese internment camp – what do you see?

US: Sushi! Love sushi! (makes a rock on! hand gesture)

Therapist: I see a clear cut forest, and you?

US: A healthy forest! Everyone knows that you have to cut down trees to protect them from fire!

Therapist: And this? I see a bombed abortion clinic.

US: I see…family values!

Therapist: (bewildered) You see “family values”?

US: Uh yeah – I feel like I’m being judged.

Therapist: No one’s judging you. OK, now rapid-fire free association: Latin America!

US: My backyard!

Therapist: Same-sex marriage!

US: Bestiality!

Therapist: Books!

US: What?

Therapist: Women’s Rights!

US: Bomb Afghanistan!

Therapist: War!

US: is peace!

Therapist: Freedom!

US: is slavery!

Therapist: Ignorance!

US: is strength!

(therapist shakes her head with exasperation, the US smiles with self-satisfaction, thinking he’s done a good job, and cracks open a Coke and a Budweiser and starts drinking out of both, oblivious in his own world as the therapist reads the diagnoses)

Therapist: (reading notes, talking to self) What a head case! At this point in the process, I am diagnosing the patient with: a profound national insecurity complex, dangerous amnesia coupled with massive self-destructive denial, a total lack of boundaries, fragmented psyche, psychotic aggression, a threatening oral fixation as he gobbles up the world’s resources, delusional narcissism as he sees everyone in his own image, and a form of paranoid schizophrenia in which he believes everyone is conspiring against him, and hears voices from a deity which he believes only talks to and blesses him. This is a highly disturbed structure, totally resistant to traditional methods ofmemory recall and processing. It’s time to shift gears – we’re going to have to go transpersonal.

(to the US) So, America, while I am trained in traditional psychotherapy, I’m hip, I’m open to more alternative therapies – and I suggest that we shift paradigms and try some New Age techniques that have proven highly successful. Are you open to that?

US: (shyly looking around) OK – are you sure no one’s watching?

Therapist: Don’t worry – there will be nothing to intervene upon your privatized subjectivity.

US: (nods) Privacy rocks.

Therapist: Now I will just center myself and invoke my personal Hindu deity. (closes eyes and puts hands in meditation mudra)

US: (copies therapist in gesture)

Therapist: Now USA, allow yourself to feel relaxed, your eyelids are getting heavy, and you are in a state of deep receptivity.

US: (eyes closed, becomes still)

Therapist: Now in this place of potent darkness, you are going to find your power animal, which will accompany you on your national shamanic journey. What animal do you see?

US: A bald eagle.

Therapist: Very good. Now I am tuning into your aura, and I see…I see your aura is an amber, no, a dark orange. I see that you are surrounded by the color of high to severe threat. And I see that in past lives, you were also constantly haunted by the energetic vibration of the most intense threat. Your parents had very red auras. I see that you have been surrounded by this color for most your life, ever since you were a little baby (US’s face starts trembling)

US: (breaks out crying) It’s SO TRUE! I feel like I’ve been under siege for as long as I can remember (sobs) It’s hard work…noone understands that it’s hard work…the war in Iraq is hard work (one of the nurses holds up a sign that reads: “verbatim quote from the State of the Union Address”) It’s work…that’s hard…

Therapist: That is an excellent emotional release. You are doing a great job. It takes a lot of courage to face such difficult feelings, and you are being very brave. Is your bald eagle with you? (US nods, eyes still closed, still in hypnotic trance) Now let’s deescalate. Let’s move down through the rainbow of threat levels, down through the chakras…beginning with moving from severe reddish orange down to elevated threat yellow. Visualize a nice, yellow light surrounding you – like a sunflower shining in the sun. Can you see that?

US: (still a little weepy) I’m sitting in the middle of a glowing apple pie?

Therapist: Very good – comfort food is good, and it’s yellow – you’re doing an excellent job. Now let’s move down to green – a beautiful bright green, the color of low threat – threat is almost of no concern here…now I’m going to ask you to work a little harder, and try breathing IN the green, and breathing OUT the red. Can you try that with me? Inhale the green, exhale the red, in with low threat, and out with high threat, in with green like a pristine old growth forest, and out with red like a bloody battlefield…

(as the therapist is talking US through this exercise, the US is deeply inhaling and exhaling, relaxing – together they say in unison “in with the green, out with the red”)

US: (Eyes closed, smiling) Green is good…red is bad…(Eyes shoot open) Wait! Red IS bad! Red is the color of Communism! Are you a Commie? Wait! Green is also bad! Green is the color of the flag of the Prophet Muhammad, the color of Islam, of radical Islam, of terrorism, terror! Terror! Terror! (freaking out) (the 2 nurses come out and together say “terrorism – it’s the new communism!”) Red is the same as green, green is the same as red, I can’t tell the difference, everyone’s out to get me! I’ll get them all first! Seal the borders! (Looks down at the US map on chest) AAAHH! There’s terrorists crawling all over me! I’m infected with cells in every city! AAAH! AAAAH!

(one nurse restrains the US, the other pulls out a huge jar of medication which reads: NATION STRENGTH: anti-depression, anti-anxiety, anti-psychosis, anti-aggression, anti-phobia (xeno- and homo-) WARNING: do not operate heavy artillery while on this medication!, and stuffs a fistful of pills into the US’ mouth – the US stops resisting)

Therapist: Wow – this case seems incurable through all forms of therapy. This patient is a fundamentally pathological structure, and my only choice is to pull out the big guns – I’m prescribing a lifetime supply of the highest known dosages of Prozapaxilithiatabenzovalium, and issuing a restraining order to prevent further harm to himself and to other states who cannot avoid coming into contact with him.

US: (looks up, dazed and drugged out, some pills still in mouth, smiling) Happiness – the pursuit…of happiness! That’s what my mommy and daddy told me (in baby talk) that I’m free to pursue happiness…all by myself! I’m free to be happy…and I’m happy to be free…(takes out Pocahontas doll and sings to it) In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue…(cuddling doll, looks out into space) Take me away, Columbus! Back across the wide ocean…there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…there’s…no…place…like…home? (Expression of fear, confusion, eyes roll back and US passes out, falling onto couch)

Therapist: (addressing audience) Well, seems like my work here is done. What a case! Let’s just say that this is pro bono, free of charge. Doing my small part as a therapist for the good of humanity, for peace on earth, and goodwill among all genders.

*THE END*