Nation in Relation: the U.S. working out his relationship issues

Last week I shared the 2006 play "Psychotic Nation" envisioning the U.S. on the psychoanalytic couch. This is the sequel script written and performed in 2007 at CIIS, where the U.S. is working out his relationship issues, practicing etiquette and humility, and being forced to apply his awkward new interpersonal skills with other nation-states.

Again, here we are in this uncanny prognostic time-bending moment. In recent weeks, Trump is shown to be lost and alone in international summits from the G7 to NATO. Creating empty, gaudy, dysfunctional celebrations no one wants to attend. The play ends with the U.S. struggling to connect with others on a basic level and to confront the impacts of his arrogance on the world stage.

This spring, Iran enlisted senior psychologists to advise on how to manage our president's erratic behavior, and to tailor their diplomatic responses to his unpredictable temperament and volatile negotiations. Earlier this year, French senator Claude Malhuret called Trump, "the only elephant in the world who walks around with his own china shop." The whole world is orienting and strategizing around 47's madness. For so long the whole world has oriented and strategized around the United States' imperial madness.

What would it take to mature? To unlearn domination? To engage in national relationship counseling?

Note: the sadomasochism scene was scripted by a student in my graduate program, who was a practitioner, and who played the role of the therapist. Which was amazing. The rest of the script was authored by me.

Enjoy.

(Both the therapist and the US are sitting facing each other, she on a chair, he on a couch.)

Therapist: So America, how have you been since our last session?

US: Well those meds are great!  Really helping to chill me out.  But, um, I’m still having that preemptive problem, you know. (This is a reference to the first skit when he says that “preemptive ejaculation” is one of his reasons for seeking therapy).

Therapist: You did excellent work last time, and I think we made a lot of progress.  After such success with yourself, do you feel ready now to dive into the work of exploring interacting with others and strengthening your interpersonal skills?

US: Totally! After working on my internalized oppression, and facing my fears, now I’m like – social interaction – bring it on!  Cause it’s like I’ve got the whole planet to myself for the weekend, you know? (getting excited) Other nations could come over and party in my deluxe pad, tap some kegs of fossil fuel, snack on endangered species jerky – it’d be righteous!  Any country could come, like Chile, Ireland, Africa…I think the only nation I couldn’t party with would be…India.

Therapist: And why’s that?

US:  I mean, make no mistake, India’s got my back in a lot of ways, we definitely cooperate, but on a personal level it’s like a really crazy nation-state – I mean, that’s like, (rolls eyes up, trying to do the math) 29,999,999 too many gods for me, you know what I’m saying?  But I’m totally down with Gandhi – he was like, the saint of peace, and I’m like, the cowboy of peace! You know like, same moral high-ground, just like different outfits.  As in, like, I have one! (Chuckles and makes his fake gun shooting gestures at therapist.  Therapist is not amused.)

Therapist: OK, well, all healthy social relationships begin with the fundamental realization that there exist other entities that are not you.

US: What?

Therapist: Other beings who are not you.

US: (cupping ear) Again?

Therapist: (speaking slowly and loudly) NOT YOU.

US: Are you speaking English?

Therapist: America, your road to recovery must begin by understanding that there are other beings, places, communities, states who are not you.

US: OK, if you say so, you mean like all those places I outsource stuff to?  I always thought of all that as the “51^st state”! But OK, if that’s true, don’t they all want to be just like me?

Therapist: (writing notes in notebook, talking to self)  Patient experiencing acute flare-up of chronic condition of cultural imperialism, which is most likely inherited.  (to US) One way to acknowledge the existence of others, and to do so politely, is to learn to say “please” and “thank you”.

US: (huffs) Shit, I’ve got crazy White Anglo-Saxon Protestant roots – you think I don’t know about politeness?

Therapist: Well, let’s give it a try –repeat after me – “please”!

US: please.

Therapist: “Thank you!”

US: Thank you.

Therapist:  Very good. Now let’s role-play and try out your etiquette with others.  Let’s pretend this pillow here is another state, let’s say Nicaragua.  Now repeat after me, “please may I have some of your natural resources?”

US: (can’t say it, struggling, blurts out instead “I can’t believe the Sandinistas are back in power – I’m totally going to overthrow you again!”) This is stupid – that’s just a pillow, I could say it if it was for real.

Therapist: Well, then just try it now in this safe space. Look at Nicaragua, yes, directly and friendly. Body language is an important part of being non-threatening. Let’s say it together.

US: (mumbles the sentence under his breath as therapist says it)

Therapist: (cheery) Alright! That wasn’t so hard was it?

US: (sulky) I guess not – is this one of those sneaky Jewish exercises?

Therapist: And now, even more importantly, let’s work with thank you.  Let’s pretend we have Turkey here, and try saying, with sincerity, “Thank you. Thank you for letting me put a military base on your territory.”

US: This is so dumb - I would never say that!  

Therapist: Do you want to get better?

US: (resentful, saying it slowly and painfully, struggling with every word) Hey Turkey, thank…you…for letting me put…military bases on your (choking on the word) sovereign…territory. (drained from the effort)

Therapist: Excellent!  I recommend you practice saying these sentences every day.  Write them down, put them on your bathroom mirror, and practice looking honest while you say them. Can you do that for me?

US: (shrugs, defeated) I guess so.  

Therapist: Now let’s switch gears a bit, and try to explore other aspects of your relational nature.  Do you find yourself desirable and loveable?

US: (giggles) That’s a no brainer!

Therapist: Do you date much?

US: (blushes) Here and there – I mean, I usually just see what I want and take it, I’m not so into the diplomatic three dates “do we want to do this or not?” kind of thing, you know?

Therapist:  If you were to post a personal profile of yourself, looking for a partner, what do you think you’d say?

US: (smiling, thinking out loud) Uh, hey ladies – of the world – I’m a, mono kind of guy.  I’m monolingual, in my heart I prefer monoculture, I’m down with monotheism 100%, uh, in my spare time I enjoy monocropping, and I like…monochromatic-ness.  Cause when you’re racially color-blind as I am, I wasn’t always, but now I am, then everything just looks nice and white.  Like the face of Jesus.  From sea to shining sea, amen!

Therapist:  (fanning herself in mockery but the US doesn’t get it)  That’s hot!  White hot.

US: (chuckling) Hey babe, I thought I was paying you to tell me things I don’t know!

Therapist:  So let’s forget working with pillows for now and let’s pretend that I’m a state you want to be more intimate with – how might that look? (inquisitive look, taking notes)

US: (eyes closed, fantasizing)  OK, you’re like a resource rich, postcolonial, weak economic client state, and I have like, overwhelmingly superior military and economic power (getting turned on) and like, your lips say no, but your eyes say yes, like your native population says no but your national elite says yes to lowering barriers, and you’re all tied up in trade treaties, and I can invade any time I want…

Therapist: (writing notes, talking to self) Hmmm.  As we’ve seen in other cases, but particularly pronounced in this one, it seems that war is the Viagra of the capitalist system. (to US) Keep going, tell me more.

US: Well, you’re like dominated by a, um, corrupt dictator, who’s like really brutal, rules with an iron fist and looks so cute in his uniform that he always wears (getting increasingly hot and bothered) and he’s like really disciplinary…and punishing…I want…to be disciplined…like that…

Therapist: (knowing look) Uh-huh. So America, how about if we try a form of therapeutic playing with power, are you open to that?

US: (knocked out of his reverie, shy) OK…are you sure noone’s watching? (this is a reference to the earlier skit when they switch into transpersonal psych.)

Therapist:  No, noone’s watching. But, unlike last time, this will intervene into your privatized subjectivity!

US: OK (shy)

Therapist: (removes baggy clothing to reveal a hot dominatrix outfit/boots underneath)

US: Whoa – babe!

Therapist: (cuts him off) Shut up.

US: OK…(sits erect, unsure, a little scared)

Therapist:  On your knees! (US kneels, therapist circles him, brandishing a whip) So – you’ve been bad, have you? 

US: So bad.

Therapist: (whips him) How bad have you been?

US: I’m awful, I’m a polluter, an aggressor, I commit social and environmental crimes with impunity! (therapist whips him “Apologize!”) I’m sorry!

Therapist: Not sorry enough!

US: I don’t even deserve to be forgiven, I’m…

Therapist: that’s right, you don’t! You’re a nothing, a snot-nosed, arrogant rich white boy who thinks he can do whatever he wants, aren’t you? But not here, boy, not here. How does it feel to be all alone without your guns and armies? What’s left of you without your overblown military budget?! Nothing! Nobody likes you! Nobody wants you! The greedy selfish little bastard is going to beg now. Beg! 

US (terrified, writhing) : please, please… 

Therapist: Say please and thank you with heart, goddamnit! (cracks the whip harder)

US: Please! Please let me have some of your wonderful, life-supporting natural resources! (whip cracks again) Thank you! Thank you so much for allowing me to build bases on your territory! I know you didn’t have a choice – I’ll leave whenever you want – I’M SO SORRY!!

Therapist: Much better. Now: Here’s the axis of evil (points to a line on the floor) Crawl!  Beg for mercy!  (US crawls towards her, she towers above him) Who am I, you pathetic excuse for the leader of the “free world”?

US:  (frantic) Rogue state, ally, rogue state, economic client state-

Therapist: Kneel up! Say my name! 

US: Terrorist! Friend! Terrorist! Friend! Terrorist! Friend! (US yells this as the therapist slaps his face back and forth) I don’t know! I don’t know who you are! I don’t know who I am! (comes undone)

Therapist: (matter-of-fact) Sit back down.  (Sits, assumes cool demeanor, adjusts glasses, gets out notebook) Alright, so what are you experiencing now?

US: (reeling) I’m…pretty…confused.

Therapist: Excellent! Confusion is oftentimes the first step towards transformative healing.

US: (nodding) Right, OK.  So I’m just trying to distinguish the different sensations…in my territory…

Therapist: (nodding, encouraging) Yes.

US: It’s like, I feel sensual but not sexual, if that makes sense?  It’s like I totally don’t feel like militarily or economically penetrating anybody, I just…(nervous, looking away, stuttering)…kind of like…just…um, want to be held? (awkward looking at each other and away) um, w-w-would you um, h-h

Therapist: No. My licensing doesn’t allow me to actually touch clients.  However, I think I know just the person to give you the loving embrace you desire.

US: Really?

(wave around flashlights or wave long scarves or throw glitter or something to signal that magic is happening)

(From behind the couch arises Jesus, wrapped in a sheet, maybe a halo or a boa)

US: (incredulous, excited as a little boy)  Jesus?!?  Dude! I wasn’t even sure you existed – I thought it was my parents who put presents in my stocking on Christmas Day!

Jesus: (dismayed) Uh, no.  That’s Santa, as in Claus.  I’m Jesus, as in Christ.

US: (smiling, wide-eyed) OK…am I still going to get presents in my stocking?

Jesus: (turns to therapist, rolls eyes) I can’t work with this.

Therapist: Please. It’s for the good of the whole world, and the only way to delay the ecological apocalypse!

Jesus: (sighs) OK. No, America, I’m afraid all you’re getting in your stocking is coal. Santa Claus died for your sins.

US: (disbelief, shock, shaking head) Whoa.

Jesus: Yes, Santa was crucified for your consumerist sins. Is this surprising? You use up nearly half the world’s resources and produce lethally unsustainable amounts of waste.

US: No! Say it isn’t so! I mean, you can understand an obsessive desire for obscene commodity accumulation, you’re a white guy like me – that’s what we do, right?

Jesus: No, actually I’m a gay man of color. (look of astonishment on US’ face)  Yes, I am a tree-hugging, sandal-wearing, anti-establishment “sissy”, OK?  And my best friend is a whore.

US: Whoa, I stand corrected. 

Jesus: America, salvation for you lies in realizing that, (Jesus pulls out piece of paper and reads) , “Desire to end domination is the will to love. The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression.  The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.”

US: (pensive, nodding) Jesus, dude, that’s really deep.

Jesus: That’s not me, it’s a quote by bell hooks, one of my main saints.

US: OK (not understanding).  But Jesus, I mean if that’s who you are, then who am I? I don’t know how much more identity destabilization I can take! Save me, Jesus, save me from myself!

Jesus: Who’s your daddy? (Holds out arms to embrace US – US falls into his arms with sweet relief) Now is the time, little US, to let go of your identity... transition into new subjectivities, by dissolving and reformulating into bioregional entities…

US: (in rapture being held by Jesus) bioregional entities…

Jesus: That’s right, localizing the economy based on bioregional areas that are self-sustaining…creating societies that live within their own ecological means instead of stealing from others.

US: (mesmerized) …localize the economy… Jesus, dude, I can’t believe how good you feel!

Jesus: (jaded) I know, that’s what everyone says.  Just repeat after me.  Bioregional, bioregional. (together they repeat this as lights flash again or something to signal exiting the supernatural scene)

(put up sign saying “U.N. SOCIAL GATHERING”)

US: (awkward, super nervous, alone, talking to himself) Well this is awkward, at the punch bowl alone, I should have been fashionably late, no, it’s better to be on time, everyone’s probably talking about me outside and complaining about my policies, can’t say I blame them…(takes some deep breaths in preparation of social interaction, tries to center himself with his etiquette mantras, hands in a yoga mudra) please, please may I have some of your lovely resources, thank you thank you for letting me put military bases on your sovereign territory, your hospitality is so…nice. (this whole last scene is just the US, but miming that he is interacting with other states)  

(sees the DRC) Hey Africa! (smacks forehead) I’m sorry – you’re the (reading namecard) Democratic Republic of the Congo.  Yes I know who you are, I’m just struggling with my internalized racism that makes me treat all of sub-Saharan Africa as if it were a monolith – what’s that? Oh, I should try being a democratic republic? That’s funny, oh, you’re not joking, right, well I’ll, uh, take that to heart…(looking around to meet other states, way nervous the whole time, extremely humbled and unsure of himself)

Venezuela! (shakes hand) Well your Bolivaran Revolution is pretty challenging for me to say the least, and when you sell cheap oil to working class US people it kind of like, holds up a really difficult mirror for me to look into, you know?  But I was thinking in the meantime maybe we could stop calling each other Satan, because it really hurts my feelings- what? – you’ll stop calling me “Satan” if I stop calling myself “America”?  OK, that’s fair, I realize that it’s a form of linguistic colonization to assume that name which erases the reality that the Americas are made of many countries, I get it.  (crouches down)

Hey little dudes! Who are you and what are you doing here? Oh, you’re Pacific island nations? You know you guys really should - I’m sorry! “I” statements – I should use I statements – I feel sad when I see you and acknowledge your anger given that due to my rampant fossil fuel consumption accelerating global warming and the sea level rising, you would have the most radical ecological critique given that you are at the forefront of climate change catastrophe and being submerged!  Everyone knows I’m an addict, and old habits die hard, but in the meantime all I can say is that I promise to absorb all of your environmental refugees.  You could have Wyoming.  There’s this guy Cheney who has a huge ranch there, we could redecorate it with a tropical aesthetic…What’s that? Yeah, I know, it’s time.  Time to give back Hawaii, Guam and Puerto Rico.  I know.  Protectorates are so passé anyway.  Glad to talk with you little dudes, I feel like I’m really seeing you for the first time. (stands and turns)

Hey Switzerland, I don’t actually have anything to say to you, I just have to chill out by you for a second. (tries to compose himself, under the strain of meeting others as others) Whew! Goddamn! (Jesus yells in a stern voice “America!” and therapist cracks her whip – US stands erect, gets back to the difficult work of interaction) OK, thanks, dude, I’ll catch you at a trade meeting? (sees Israel)

Hey Israel, come here – everyone knows that you and me are like, B.F.F., best friends forever, but I just want to confess that it’s like, gone deeper than that for me, I’ve been so in love with you dude – you’re like a mini-me in the Middle East! And I can totally ignore the fact that you’re Jewish.  You’re just so strategic (looks lovingly into his eyes, strokes a cheek) But I’ve been thinking, I don’t want our relationship to cause others to suffer, and you know, destabilize the region, so I want to just propose that we try a non-monogamous relationship, I mean, we’d totally be each other’s primary, you know, but just like start seeing others – what? – oh you have been seeing other states? (hurt, but tries to play it cool) Yeah, no, I mean me too, you know Britian and Saudi Arabia are like my B.F.F. too…OK…um, see you at your place next week? (looking around, worried)

Um, does anyone know if Iraq is coming tonight?  Oh…he couldn’t get out of bed? (devastated) Yeah, that’s what I heard too, I’m definitely not ready to face him, and don’t know if I ever will be…(clinks glass to get attention) 

Hey guys?  Could I have your attention for a minute?  Could I please have your attention? So I know you all know that I’m a crazy guy, and this is going to sound crazy, but in a different way, I want to propose that we think about the possibility of dissolving the nation-state structure – (to self) man this is surreal! - and transforming into bioregional entities with local economies – I know, it’s nuts, it kind of, came to me in a vision, so I’m just planting seeds, and I’ll start by experimenting with myself, and assess the effects of my truth claims.  OK! Well, I should get going. What’s that?  No, I’d love to stay and have a cerveza, but I’ve got to sober up, since I’m the designated driver of the global economy, at least until China takes over, so you know – early to bed, early to rise! And frankly, I’m pretty darn exhausted from practicing my new self in community.  Also you would not believe how much journaling I have to do! It’s endless. So have a great rest of the party. (US backs away, surveying the scene, reflecting, suddenly gets sad)

Wow, looks like everyone’s having a really good time without me.  OK. (wipes away tears, makes peace sign, hangs head down, and walks out the door alone.)

THE END.